Developing A Family Mission Statement

Family Mission Statement

You are about to embark on a family adventure that will be fun, wacky and challenging! This exercise will give you tools to evaluate your family’s values, talents and calling and encourage you to write a family mission statement for 2021! We believe, incredible bonding occurs when parents and children come together and agree on what they stand for. This process isn’t easy, but it is worth it!

Our prayer for your family is that you grow closer to Jesus and to each other, be unified in His calling and find joy and love in living it out together!

Why Write a Family Mission Statement?

A mission statement is a declaration that explains what you do, how you do it and why you do it. Stephen Covey says, “A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about — what it is you really want to do and be — and the principles you choose to govern your family life.” A family mission statement can also provide a framework for establishing priorities, evaluating decisions, discipline and more. 

Through your family mission statement, you will intentionally reinforce the culture and priorities God is calling you to. Your family already has a unique way of working together, solving problems and relating to one another. Family culture can be formed intentionally or by default. It takes great work to have a positive family culture. It’s not something that is instantly created, it requires daily investment and years of reinforcement. Having a statement that unifies you will reinforce the culture you are striving to establish and unite you on your mission for the Lord. 

The following is a ten step process to guide your family. Every family is different with varying strengths and challenges - so PLEASE do what works for you. You may skip steps or work on one step for a long time. Some families take a year to do this exercise and one family we know locked the kids in the car, took the phones, drove to the mountains and did the entire process in 3 hours. 

God is calling your family to an important mission for redemptive purposes. He wants you to proclaim what is true of your home and your family and for you to go forth for His Kingdom. Be brave - You can do this!

Step 1 :: Pray

Pray over this process! Spouses pray together, and ask your children or others to pray with you. Pray for joy, collaboration, unity in the Spirit, good attitudes, creativity, etc. Call upon the Lord and he will answer you. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” -Jeremiah 33:3.

Step 2 :: Call a Special Family Meeting to Plan the Process

Your role as parents is to initiate and guide the process of writing your Family Mission Statement. Every member of your family has significant input and influence and should contribute to the process. The first step is to hold a special family meeting that looks different from an ordinary night of the week. Get creative - it may take energy you don’t think you have, but this is worth it! Could you get a hotel for one night? Or stay at home and order pizza and eat it on a blanket in the family room? Go for a special hike and start the discussion in the car (collect all phones and devices first!). You get the idea; do something out of the ordinary and make it fun! Get creative on scheduling time for this. You will not get this done in one sitting!!

Set Some Guidelines:

  1. Give everyone a chance to share and listen intently to each other.  Everyone’s participation is vital! If members don’t participate there will be a lack of commitment to the process and family mission.  

  2. Write things down. Choose a note taker or two to capture the ideas. Try a dry erase board if that helps get it in front of all of you and frequently take pictures of the board to make sure ideas are captured! 

  3. Take your time. Remember the process is WAY more important than the final statement. Don’t stress.  

  4. Don’t go into this process thinking of what your statement “should” say or put unrealistic or uncomfortable expectations on this exercise. This statement is not for Facebook or social media. This is a beautiful, intentional process to explore your family’s identity and see where God is calling you to participate in His redemptive work.  

  5. Think in terms of an end result. For example, what do you hope to see in your children when they are adults?

Step 3 :: Start Brainstorming

Kick off your session by choosing 5-10 of these brainstorming questions:

  • What do we love to do together as a family?

  • What do we laugh about most in our family?

  • What unites our family?

  • What makes us feel fulfilled?

  • What does each family member want our family to be like?

  • When is our family happiest?

  • What kind of feeling do we want to have in our home?

  • What kind of home would you like to invite your friends to?

  • What embarrasses you about our family?

  • What makes you want to come home?

  • What smell reminds you of home?

  • What do we want to be remembered by?

  • When are we really motivated?

  • What kind of relationships do we want to have with one another?

  • How do we want to treat one another and speak to one another?

  • What things are truly important to us as a family?

  • What are our responsibilities as family members?

  • What biblical qualities do you see in our family?

  • What are the principles and guidelines we want our family to follow?

  • Who are our heroes? What is it about them that we like and would like to emulate?

  • What families inspire us and why do we admire them?

  • Who are we called to serve?

Step 4 :: Explore Your Family Identity

There are four aspects to our identity that help us understand how we fit into God’s plans in the world: Affections, Aches, Abilities and Anchors. Reflecting on these “Four A’s” can help us identify who God has created us to be and clarify how He may be inviting us to join in his redemption. Pick one at a time to talk through as a family. Do this both for the individual members of your family, as well as a unit and then discuss what you learned about yourself and your family.

  1. Affections: What do you care about? What is something that you love? As a family, What are things you like together? Things we like to spend time doing.

  2. Aches: Where do you encounter the brokenness of the world? Is there a problem you see in your neighborhood or world that you want to see fixed? What does your family get  motivated by wanting to help?

  3. Abilities: What are you good at? Write at least three strengths for each family member. Some include: Bravery, Creativity, Curiosity, Fairness, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Hope, Humility, Humor, Integrity, Kindness, Leadership, Love, Love of learning, Open-mindedness, Persistence, Joy, Generosity, Peace, Patience, Perspective, Prudence, Self-control, Social intelligence, Faith, Prayer, Zest, Appreciation of beauty 

  4. Anchors: What are the realistic circumstances of your life? What are some of the things that are a part of your life and won’t change, even as you think through how to serve others (example: your job, the neighborhood you live in, what school you attend, your age, look at your calendar -- where did you spend your time? etc.)

Step 5 :: Identify Your Family Values

Create a list of family values. Here are some suggestions to get you started. Please add your own values!

After developing a list of values, you will then begin to rank and eliminate them. Try to get down to the five most important! Put two values next to each other and ask members to choose one over the other. Move the winner up the list and the loser down the list to compete with the next one.

Adventure

Comfort

Discipline

Education

Freedom

Growth

Health / Exercise

Love

Selflessness

Ambition

Compassion

Diversity

Faith

Friends

Happiness

Integrity

Optimism

Service

Balance

Creativity

Determination

Family

Fun

Harmony

Knowledge

Success

Wisdom

Step 6 :: Identify the Abilities and Strengths of Your Family

Write at least three strengths for each family member!

Step 7 :: Consolidate Information

Brainstorm ways to consolidate the information you have collected and learned. You want to get to 10 (or fewer) big ideas that capture your family identity and values.

Hand out pieces of paper and ask family members to brainstorm one to three ideas or bullet points that summarize who you are and what you care about as a family. Come back together and share to see where there are similarities and begin to refine the information. Try to get the info distilled to the top 10 ideas. Remember, it’s important to give each person time to process, contribute, and vote. From here you can continue to process or try something like giving each person 3 votes and have them mark them. Tally the votes and see if you have consensus on the top 10 big ideas.

Step 8 :: Write Out Your Family Mission Statement

Once you have your list of Big Ideas, it’s time to synthesize them into a single Family Mission Statement. No problem, right? This next part can be difficult, so please keep in mind:

Pray. Prayer is important throughout this process but is essential at this moment. Ask the Holy Spirit for unity, guidance and wisdom.

Keep it short. Mission statements work best if they are kept short, because short is memorable.

Useful words. You will need some “joining” words to link these big ideas. There are many options; here are some suggestions: Model, encourage, nurture, inspire, demonstrate, create.  

Make it collaborative. Your family might decide to delegate the writing process to a parent, or you can do it collaboratively. Try tasking each member (or work in teams) to write 2-3 phrases from the Big Ideas. Then have them present their work for family discussion and approval. No matter what, get plenty of feedback from the other members of your family and give them a final vote of approval.

There isn’t one right way to write a family mission statement. Some families write out their mission statement essay style; others create a bullet point list of the values that they strive to live by, and some may write a song. 

Take as much time as you need. Write, edit, and re-write until everyone is happy with the final product. This is something you’ll look to for years and years, so it’s okay if it takes time to get it just right.

Step 9 :: Hang Your Family Mission Statement in a Prominent Place in Your Home

Once your family is happy with the mission statement, consider printing it out or making a canvas to display it in a  prominent place in the house, somewhere you can refer to it often. Now you have a constant visual reminder of what your family is all about and what you’re striving for together.

As you go about your day-to-day life, be intentional about finding teachable moments to weave in your Family Mission Statement. A tangible way to use your mission statement is to identify a specific mission focus. You can do this by setting specific goals. Possible examples include:

  • If your family values hospitality and it is a part of your mission statement, then make a goal to host your neighbors once a month. 

  • If your family has an ache for the poor make a goal to serve in The Well together twice each semester. 

  • If your family has an ache for children without stable homes, offer respite care for a foster/adoptive family or consider becoming certified as a foster parent.   

Re-Draft When Appropriate

Families change as the years go by — kids get older, and life-changing events occur. Feel free to adjust your mission statement when you think it’s appropriate, but don’t make it a frequent occurrence. 

Congratulations! You did it! Please send in your Family Mission Statement to Sarah Siegler (sarah@wellspringcolorado.com) so we can see what your family has developed! We would also love to hear your feedback on this process.

Bonus Step :: Catchphrase - Capture Your Family Values

Brainstorm a list of phrases that you say to each other often or that guide your family. This is meant to serve as a reminder in your family. These can come from movies, shows, podcasts, books, poems, songs or completely made up. Some examples are:

  1. We will get through this

  2. Return with honor

  3. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

  4. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade